I still feel like my life is falling apart and all I want to do is cry. Hell, all I’ve been doing is crying. 

I just wish my parents and boyfriend were here everyday. Its just so much easier when I see all of them everyday. I feel like I’m on my own all the time and it sucks. I know things will eventually work themselves out. I just wish they would figure themselves out today. 

Here come the tears again… I’ll end with this I guess….

I hope I’m making the important people in my life proud…

that’s the simple fact of it all. 

about a half hour ago this feeling came to me and something just isn’t right. 

I really just wish my parents were here and actually knew how i was feeling every day. but they’re busy with their new life. 

sweet shit. 

not. 

I’m so over this. 

But there’s one thing I can always be thankful and grateful for, my loving, understanding, amazing boyfriend; and my crazy, caring, and awesome friends that have stuck by me no matter what. 

I really wish I could rid myself of anxiety and worry. I’d give anything to live a normal worry free life. but nope, if I’m gonna go through life its gonna be one hell of a ride. 

well hopefully I wont cry tonight or tomorrow.. or the next day.. ha, who am i kidding? i probably will.

not to mention the fact that i feel absolutely god awful every time i cry in front of anyone especially my boyfriend. this isn’t his battle it’s mine. he shouldn’t have to see me like this. 

FUUUUCK.

well movie is back on..time to face shit come tomorrow morning 

and hopefully no tears.. but I guess we’ll see. 

& I’m not ready. 

I’m so incredibly lucky to have poeple in st cloud who care about me . But without a job, i’m nothing but a failure. 

I have an amazing boyfriend who is supporting me through this whole thing.

But without my parents, I don’t know if I can handle this. 

I just want my life back. I want my parents in Minnesota. I want somewhere to call home. I want to have an almost stress free life. But screw wants in the previous sentences. those are needs. 

I can’t do this at all. 

someone help. 

I officially have way too much going on and I’m going to have a mental breakdown. I can’t do this. I just wanna cry. 

I honestly do nothing but classes, meetings, homeowrk, eat, sleep, repeat. 

I CANT DO THIS.

All I’ve been doing today is crying. 

RHA is stressing me the hell out. 

I know people tell me not to worry about fraternity stuff with the boy. But the simple idea of him being upset makes me want to cringe. He deserves this membership more than anyone. 

I just want this feeling to go away. This feeling of a brick sitting on my chest. This feeling that I’m failing everyone. 

I can’t do this anymore. 

Not to mention, not a single fucking job has called me back. I can’t NOT have a job. I need one NOW. 

FUCKKK. Here come the tears again.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

Is there something every other kid on campus is doing that I’m not? & that’s what is causing all of this pain?

Whatever the fuck this is, it needs to stop.

I need to stop crying. My body can’t physically take any of this anymore.

I’m not superwoman….